Atonement
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Two decades and more,
I have carried this pain.
The weight of expectations
The carcasses of my wishes slain
How much am I supposed to bear?
How much am I to change?
Why can’t I just be a freak?
Why must I wear a pretty face?
The agony is unbearable
The stigma of knowing too much
Too young to be trusted
Too old to be ignored
They try to ‘fix me’,
“It’s for your own good”, I hear
Then why do I smell it,
the rancid odour of fear?
I pretend to be atoned
of my mind untamed
living behind the perfect camouflage
of being civilized again
I have carried this pain.
The weight of expectations
The carcasses of my wishes slain
How much am I supposed to bear?
How much am I to change?
Why can’t I just be a freak?
Why must I wear a pretty face?
The agony is unbearable
The stigma of knowing too much
Too young to be trusted
Too old to be ignored
They try to ‘fix me’,
“It’s for your own good”, I hear
Then why do I smell it,
the rancid odour of fear?
I pretend to be atoned
of my mind untamed
living behind the perfect camouflage
of being civilized again
© 2009 by Chhaya. All rights reserved
PS: the image is googled
It started as a write up and ended up as a poem... I am curious to know what you feel after reading this.
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