The Coward

Friday, September 25, 2009



Don’t take it away from me
this armour I have
made painstakingly
through the nights so lonely
with every moment I waited
for someone like you

Now that you are here
I am scared of
losing my heart
to the one made for me
You are too sacred
to be touched.
I am too greedy
to let go.

I don’t know why
I need this distance
am I scared of getting
my heart broken?
or is it your soul
I want to spare?
walking away from you
waiting for you to
pull me close
fighting your love
longing for the defeat

Will you know when I
fake a heart of stone
and see through the curtains of
my words so cruel?
will you read my eyes
and stay
or will you let me win
and wither away?


© 2009 by Chhaya. All rights reserved
PS: the image is googled

i know this poem doesnt rhyme much.. this is how it was supposed to be

46 comments:

AJai September 25, 2009 at 11:20 PM  

Brilliant stuff. Could totally relate to it. I think everyone goes through a stage like that. Brilliant. Bravo!

ps: I didn't get what you meant by exchanging links. I'm a layman... pls explain okie. :P

Uncommon Sense September 26, 2009 at 9:37 AM  

i liked the idea behind it, about not wanting because of being afraid of loosing and at the same time wanting it,, and its something that is extremely difficult to put into words,

"fighting your love
longing for the defeat" - beautiful

L. Venkata Subramaniam September 26, 2009 at 12:01 PM  

I see you have come back inspired!

How well you have captured the insecurities we all have inside of us!!

Lovely.

Anonymous,  September 26, 2009 at 2:07 PM  

the lines only show how much you needed the break....the lines neednt rhyme, and you know better....
i loved this poem...felt good after a long time...
To the people of this mortal World...."Chhaya is back.."

keep writing..

regards,
a friend...

(why using two fonts??)

Suman September 26, 2009 at 2:41 PM  

or will you let me win
and wither away.nice

Chhaya September 26, 2009 at 3:02 PM  

@Ajai - its not that good.. lol..
a very open poem though, without extra cryptic words..

@Maya (Uncommon Sense) - glad u liked it.. and yes, thats exactly what i was trying to paint here

Chhaya September 26, 2009 at 3:04 PM  

@LVS - love can be the scariest thing in the world, especially if your life has been a string of moments when you were let down by people you had started leaning on.. :)

Chhaya September 26, 2009 at 3:08 PM  

@Anonymous - Was waiting for your reaction.. the open style of the poem was actulally very deliberate.. needed to know if you liked it. i know you will be honest.
PS:- My Mortality is all i have yaar.. lol... dont take it away from me. this is the only thing God envies man for.

Chhaya September 26, 2009 at 3:09 PM  

@Suman - Thank u for dropping by. and so glad u liked it..

shama September 26, 2009 at 3:48 PM  

Surely...I will visit your blog...since u love nature, u might b interested in my blog:

http://fiberart-thelightbyalonelypath.blogspot.com

Thanks a ton for the comment! I am planning to put a "how to'....a video showing the nurturing of plants & making bonsais out of the wildly growing plants in the buildings & road sides...which get constantly uprooted, yet keep growing again & again...mainly the ficus variety!
warm regards
shama

shama September 26, 2009 at 3:55 PM  

Now about the poem...simply wonderful...I felt as if someone has heard my heart & then written...!
What a beauty...yet filled with pain..."our sweetest songs are those, that tell us the saddest of the thoughts!"
'hain sabse madhur geet wahee jinhen ham dard ke surme gata hain..'

http://shamasansmaran.blogspot.com

http://kavitasbyshama.blogspot.com

http://aajtakyahantak-thelightbyalonelypath.blogspot.com

I request u to join us in a tough endeavor on the blog"ek sawal tum karo..."...wld u b interested? I will need ur e-mail ID to send a request...but first read the purpose & content of it!

हिज(ड़ा) हाईनेस मनीषा September 26, 2009 at 5:13 PM  

छाया जी, यकीन मानिये कि हम सब आपकी लेखनी के कायल हैं। आपके भाव अत्यंत कोमल रहते हैं लेकिन आप समझ सकती हैं न कि हम अधिकतर उन लोगों की आवाज़ हैं जो कि हिंदी और देवनागरी की पट्टी पर रेंगते हैं। चीख की कोई भाषा नहीं होती और न ही प्रेम की कोई लिपि लेकिन समझा जा सकता है। सारा भड़ास परिवार, आयुषवेद परिवार, लंतरानी परिवार और साथ ही अर्धसत्य परिवार आपको बहुत सम्मान देता है। अच्छा लगता है जब आप जैसे लोग हम जैसे तिरस्कार करे लोगों के साथ अपनी आवाज जोड़ते हैं।
आशीर्वाद व गहरे प्रेम सहित

Sneha Says September 26, 2009 at 6:17 PM  

I think we all can relate to it... I could actually visulise it while reading...loved it :)

AJai September 26, 2009 at 6:17 PM  

hey i've added ur site to my blog roll... sorry i didn't do it before...:)

Chhaya September 26, 2009 at 8:37 PM  

@Shama - i wud love to see that. plz give me the link

@Manisha - Hindi is my mother tongue and i can easily read it. It has been years since i wrote anything in that langauge but its still the language i think in..

never feel lesser than anyone ..

keep in touch
Love and Wishes always

Chhaya September 26, 2009 at 8:38 PM  

@Sneha - u r such a sweetheart!!

@Ajai - ditto :)

vicious September 26, 2009 at 9:15 PM  

not all poems are meant to rhyme and even though this doesnt , it carries emotions that are strong and deep ..
loved this one ..

vicious September 26, 2009 at 9:17 PM  

You are too sacred
to be touched.
I am too greedy
to let go.

something that everyone can relate to but at the same time has the touch of genius

Uncommon Sense September 27, 2009 at 10:04 AM  

agree with sneha, i cud visualise too.. as i read images were being created in mind

Pete September 27, 2009 at 11:23 AM  

Hi Chhaya

You depict so well the push and pull of feelings of love.

This even happens to married people who have passing or longterm crushes on people who are not their partners.

So the heart never ceases to yearn and learn.

Chhaya September 27, 2009 at 11:35 AM  

@Vicious - those four lines are the soul of this poem. It expresses the desire to surrender to the one made for you. but at the same time, u find yourself unable trust your own heart. what if you end uo hurting that person? what if ... so many ifs...

Chhaya September 27, 2009 at 11:37 AM  

@Maya - then this poem is indeed a success :)

@Pete - i think love has no boundary, no rules. You can fall in love anytime.. and it doesnt happen just once..

Chhaya September 27, 2009 at 11:38 AM  

@anonymous - there is indeed some problem with the font. trying to fix it.

Vittaldas Prabhu September 27, 2009 at 12:34 PM  

Beyond the shadow of doubt, this poem very clearly captures the insecurities of the heart.

We fear so much of losing the ones we love that we hold them so close and tight that we don't want to let go. In this effort of holding on we forget that the tighter we try to grip the sands in our fist faster does it slip away; I think the lines "will you let me win and wither away?" try to capture this reality. Not to take any credit away from those lines - I personally feel that these lines drive home the entire gist of this piece of art.

There would be very few who would not be able to relate to the truth you have very nicely put here. We are afraid to express ourselves fearing that our words may not be taken kindly by the other and at the end, most times, end up losing the loved one.

To be absolutely frank with you, I thought this poem was to make the readers take advantage of a light reading. But when I applied the thoughts to my own life I found how deep the words go. For a happy-go-lucky person this poem would make no sense, but for the normal individual this is a true masterpiece and I take pride in saying that I am one of the normal ones. :)

Cheers,
Vittal.

vicious September 27, 2009 at 4:41 PM  

true chhaya ..why there are always so many ifs

Chhaya September 27, 2009 at 7:26 PM  

@Vittal - you always go in the depth of every poem.. and i love u for that. nothing is hidden from ur eyes.. yes, we do mess up big time when it comes to love..

this poem is more about not being able to open up than being too clingy.

in one sentence, its all about being - too scared to love -
... Hence the title... - The Coward -

Chhaya September 27, 2009 at 7:27 PM  

@ Vicious - i guess there are so many ifs cz there are so many buts :)

Virus© September 27, 2009 at 11:59 PM  

I'm not much of a poet myself but poems don't necessarily need to rhyme.

This, ma'am, is beautiful.

Brosreview September 28, 2009 at 2:32 AM  

I have been reading this since quite a few minutes now. This is more song-like than poem.

Firstly, I am glad to know someone who is going beyond the rhyming scheme in poems. I am more glad to realize that you have not compromised on emotions here.

This is not too cliched too. So, good on you!

I love the manner in which you have emphasized on certain lines which MAY not be worthy a highlight than a few other lines. But, that is being different, isn't it?

But, when one links the lines that are comparatively bolder, it gives the song (I'd choose to consider) a slightly different perspective.

A persons' realist and honest behavior is conveyed here. Possessiveness in doubt, or possessiveness unacknowledged here. An empowering behavior is what I notice here which is only due to confidence and self-awareness.

Understanding is the key element here.

This is some good work. It is better than good if one knows how to read between the lines and one has the patience to feel it.

Keep writing!!!

Chhaya September 28, 2009 at 11:10 AM  

@AJ (Brosreview) - I am so glad that you liked it. I know you can read between the lines and that you very well understand what exactly made me write this. The more we understand ourselves, the more scared we are to give in. If you know your weaknesses then you know where you gonna mess up.
When you know that you cannot manage to live your life with anything less than what you desire then you understand that you might end up breaking the heart of someone who loves you. You desperately wanna believe and at the same time your (cursed) intelligence tells you that its most probably in vain. its all about taking chances.. and the coward inside you stops you from doing it.
I wrote this poem like a conversation with my soul. may be that’s why it came out more like a song.
m so glad you liked it!

Whats In A Name September 28, 2009 at 2:53 PM  

Everyone has already written so much that praising it further shall be fruitless!!

Many of us go through such emotions in our life once. We dont find words to express ourselves that time though..
Next time I happen to see someone going through such emotions, the first thing I will do is to refer that person to this poem..
Its Awesssommmeeeeee,,,,,,,,,

Though it doesnt rhyme it has some magic in it.... It keeps reverberating in one's mind after it is read!!!! Excellent.....

Sneha Says September 28, 2009 at 3:33 PM  

Happy Dussera to you too Chayya !!!

Chhaya September 28, 2009 at 6:53 PM  

A Certain Mr Anonymous left a really idiotic message which i am not going to publish. I wud not even react to it but i wanna explain for once and all - i am NOT going to publish any comment from Anonumous ppl unless its related to the post.

So Mr. Anonymous, if u want your stupid comment published then use your blogger ID.. i m sure there are people who will give u what you were looking for.. even if its never gonna be me

IdleMind September 28, 2009 at 6:55 PM  

Shubho Bijoya to you! hope the Navratr for you remained as sacred and holy as it always is.

For this poem, well, I don't remember having read anything from you as transparent as this.

The words are like the crystal clear water that sprints down the mountain terrains ... keep enjoying such moments of love among your verses.

Chhaya September 28, 2009 at 7:05 PM  

@WhatsInAName - i hope u will never have to use it :).. glad u liked the poem.

@Sneha - :)

Vittaldas Prabhu September 28, 2009 at 9:51 PM  

Per your suggestion I changed the lines and I see that they make a difference. Now I know how experience matters. :-) Thank you for that and I have made a special mention in my comments for your help.

-Vittal.

aditya September 29, 2009 at 2:06 AM  

heyy Chhaya

a quick note again

will be reading your poetry very soon !

a very
happy dussehra to u too .. :)

Chhaya September 29, 2009 at 8:50 AM  

@IdleMind - yes.. i had a nice navratr.. enjoyed too..
about the poem.. i do get in the daring mode sometimes :P

Chhaya September 29, 2009 at 8:52 AM  

@Vittal - you are most welcome. you have a talent for writing poems. a natural, you are.

@Aditya - take ur time. :)

Whats In A Name September 29, 2009 at 1:06 PM  

@Chhaya...
The poem is so beautiful that I wished I had an opportunity to use it....

Quackster September 30, 2009 at 12:03 PM  

This is definitely one of your best works. I can sense the torture and conflict from within.

Thanks for your blessings earlier and I would like to pray for you and your loved ones as well!

Thanks for being a pal.

aditya October 6, 2009 at 3:13 PM  

Hey

I am a very unsentimental sort of person. Sorry ... I didnot feel much when reading the poem. Sorry about that.

I liked

will you let me win
and wither away?

but.

PassionMust November 10, 2009 at 1:22 PM  

Perfectly Understood how it feels...nice write..keep up :)

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