Vengeance: Under 100 words

Monday, January 11, 2010


Have you ever watched helplessly as your family and friends get massacred?
Right in front of your eyes?

I did.

I was just a baby... I couldn’t do anything..

He killed them all.

Gassed them.
Beat them to pulp.

I don’t know how I survived. Perhaps you are stronger when you are young.

I wasn’t going to forgive him.
I had to keep the honour of my tribe...

There was a tiny column in the local newspaper after a few days.

“Man dies of Malaria in the suburbs of Mumbai”

Remember, you don’t mess with the Anopheles.

=================================
© 2010 by Chhaya. All rights reserved

PS: the image is obviously googled :)

41 comments:

mario January 11, 2010 at 12:42 PM  

lol....nice one...same and different from your other posts at the same time

was a pleasant read during my work hrs :)

Tanushree Pillai January 11, 2010 at 2:26 PM  

Hi Chaaya,

Nice twist in the tale. Was a good read. Do visit my blog at http://tanuspeaksonline.blogspot.com. I have made a similar attempt in my latest post. The name of the post is "PAST".

IdleMind January 11, 2010 at 2:42 PM  

Another beauty! you could have killed him by a road accident as well ... but then the last line was needed. A murderer remains vulnerable to even an anopheles, that's quite an irony. :)

Chhaya January 11, 2010 at 2:44 PM  

@idle - dunnow how i cud have arranged for a mosquito to arrange for a road accident! haha

perhaps he cud bite the man right when there was a truck coming from the opposite side ;)

Chhaya January 11, 2010 at 2:45 PM  

@Tanushree : already read and commented. nice short story, that one :)

Chatterbox January 11, 2010 at 2:47 PM  

That was a fantastic twist in the tale.
I at first thought you were writing about baby teeth.
Keep up the good work :)

Cheers!!

Chhaya January 11, 2010 at 2:48 PM  

@Chatterbox : baby teeth! hmmmm interesting...
god save us from the day when out teeth start taking revenge on us! :D

Dentists beware!

Brosreview January 11, 2010 at 3:34 PM  

Just like the way I prefer it. Well done! Sadly, I can partially relate to this. Nicely written! Keep at it!!!

Chhaya January 11, 2010 at 3:41 PM  

@Brosreview : Malaria?? Oh No!!

i have had two bouts in last 3 years.. :-/
mosquiots have extra love for me :P

RAJ47 January 11, 2010 at 4:12 PM  

Ek machhar admi ko........lol !!!
Gr8! You kept everyone guessing even under 100 words!! Keep it up!!!

Chhaya January 11, 2010 at 4:14 PM  

@Raj : hehe. thank u :)

Sorcerer January 11, 2010 at 4:18 PM  

wow!!
Brilliance..sheer unaltered brilliance

Viva la brilliance

:)
looved it to the core

peace!!!

Chhaya January 11, 2010 at 5:10 PM  

@Sorcerer : hehehe.. so much praise makes me wonder if u are trying to write a post on _Sarcastic_ under 100 words ;)

Oxymoron January 11, 2010 at 5:40 PM  

hey....great twist in the end...was not expecting it coz you generally dont write this kind of stuff...by the way i took part in a similar massacre today should i be worried...

Chhaya January 11, 2010 at 5:43 PM  

@Oxymoron: haha. i kill so many mosquitos that i m the one who shud be scared.

btw, i m always trying to write something new in a different way... glad that i didnt disappoint :)

IdleMind January 11, 2010 at 6:45 PM  

Na ... na ... I didn't mean that. What I meant was that there could be just the road mishap to kill him. No need for a mosquito then.

But then, the satirical last line would have been missed. So I see that a mosquito was indeed required.

Hope I made it clear. :)

Chhaya January 11, 2010 at 6:52 PM  

@idle : the narrator of the story is a mosquito. how cud the revenge be from any other source?

guess u missed that part :P

Brian Miller January 11, 2010 at 7:26 PM  

snap. written amazingly, a sad tale.

Chhaya January 11, 2010 at 8:17 PM  

@Brian : yeah.. whats revenge for one is tragedy for another and comdey for the world.. sad indeed

glad u liked it

Vittaldas Prabhu January 11, 2010 at 8:43 PM  

Miracles happen. The young one survived. Revenge is sweet. The young one had his vengeance.

I am sure the one seeking vengeance didn't survive to see him dying, nevertheless she avenged the death of her kin. Redemption has been awarded.

Also, I see a little message - Don't mess with the Anopheles. Finish them off! Ek bhi bachna nahin chahiye. :-) Malaria can be a killer.

The PoV you have chosen is unique. I was blown away. The idea is so different and yet so nice. Need I say it was a enjoyable read? May be yes! ;-) It was indeed a thoroughly enjoyable read.

Chhaya January 11, 2010 at 8:47 PM  

@Vittal : hehehe. thank u! i have been tortured by them so bad...

wish they wud make this one species extinct :P

Karthik January 11, 2010 at 10:34 PM  

Hahaha.. lol.. :D And I was imagining things! :P
"Perhaps you are stronger when you are young" - I loved this line.
Enjoyed reading. Great going, Chhaya. Hope to read more. :-)

Chhaya January 11, 2010 at 10:44 PM  

@Karthik : hehehe... thank u sooo much :D

RAJ47 January 12, 2010 at 7:54 AM  

MANY MANY HAPPY RETURNS OF THE DAY!
TUM JIYO HAZARON SAAL, SAAL KE DIN HO PACHAS HAZAR!!
HAVE A GR8 DAY!!!

IdleMind January 12, 2010 at 10:41 AM  

Oh my! was it? I must have missed. I was thinking of bigger things ... human demons may be.

Now I like the story even better!! :)

Chhaya January 12, 2010 at 8:40 PM  

@Raj thank u so much for the Bday wishes

@CHandrika : thanks :)

Chhaya January 12, 2010 at 8:42 PM  

@idle : ha! you are too busy with the taughts of shifting.. obviously a tiny mosquito is easy to miss ;)

Mahesh Sindbandge January 13, 2010 at 6:24 PM  

Hehe LOlz.... Started like a fiction thriller and ended in such a funny movement!

* staring around if any mosquito is looking at my screen while i am trying all this*

Hmmm...Seriously i felt like WHAT?? i was blown way with that POV( like vittal said). Where in the world would i expect a mosquito tom take the protagonist seat?


Very good one :)

санжог January 13, 2010 at 10:00 PM  

May be it's time to be diplomatic, show em the way to the blood bank.

Oh, wait may be I can give the addresses of other blood suckers called politicians. I'd be happy to help there.

Chhaya January 13, 2010 at 10:57 PM  

@Mahesh : actually mosquitos have extra special love for me.. i was inspired to write this one after a marathon mosquito killing session :D

Chhaya January 13, 2010 at 11:01 PM  

@cahxor : i dont think mosquitos will bite the politicians.. same fraternity n all :P

vidya January 14, 2010 at 4:25 AM  

haha...v nice one:) enjoyed reading this!

D.Dasgupta January 17, 2010 at 12:54 PM  

This one was fun at first sight. But when I thought more deeply, I did see read more than fun in it. What's fun to you is death to me, said I to myself. Ultimately, humanity has made it a rule that its right to survival counts more than the rights enjoyed by others. Evolution too has ensured that the human race alone decides who survives and who doesn't. And the same idea works for humanity taken in isolation too. Some of us are more precious for the world than others. Some resort to revenge, some accept their fate.

And then going back to your anopheles, I also asked myself that most uncomfortable question of all. Do I have the right to kill an animal and eat it up? The anopheles can at least kill me. But a little chicken? We breed them with the sheer purpose of killing them and then serving them on the dining table with garnishings.

And then someone closes his eyes and sighs in pleasure: Ahhhh! The roast chicken was simply out of the world!

Deep-da

Ashley January 17, 2010 at 9:44 PM  

Haha..Very unexpected and nice! :)

Chhaya January 18, 2010 at 4:26 PM  

@Deep Da – I had deliberately kept that irony in the story. in fact I was confused in the start, if I shud tag it under vengeance.. or shud I file it for Tragedy. bcz what can be more tragic than having us laughing at a death?

I wanted to say this much in the post, but I had kept it subtle, to be captured by readers who can see from my eyes.

u might have noticed me mentioning in reply to a comment –
Whats revenge for one is tragedy for another and comedy for the rest of the world

this is what I have been trying to convey through this story. I m so happy that u felt it :)

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