Trying to write Haiku - 1

Monday, February 11, 2008

World drowning in blood
hope floats
in the eyes of kids

I wait at the doorway
endless rain
will you be home tonight?

Autumn leaf floats away
your kiss
can you hear the silence?

burning my wishes
I keep warm
the fire grows cold


PS: they are just efforts, not technically haiku

© 2008 by Chhaya. All rights reserved

PS: the image is googled


Agepe October 3, 2008 at 12:08 PM  

Haiku? short poem? from Japan?

Opaque July 9, 2009 at 3:52 AM  

Strictly considering that this is a trial, I am not paying attention to the rules of Haiku.

But, the profoundness of the lines doesn't go unnoticed. All of them are quite deep. It is hard to choose the best one.

Only correct the grammar in the first one. That's all.

D.Dasgupta January 10, 2010 at 4:39 PM  

I liked the last one most. Note that nowadays they do not insist too much on the syllable rule. So, even technically, I think it passes as a haiku. A rich haiku in fact.


Chhaya January 10, 2010 at 10:15 PM  

@Brosreview : i m glad u liked this. i wrote them a long time back ... one of my first works

Chhaya January 10, 2010 at 10:16 PM  

@Deep Da : You have seen these earlier too :)
i m so glad u had encouraged me to write more, even when my work was obviosuly not good enough

thank u for standing by me Deep da :)

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