The Nightmare
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
One more day..
One more smile..
I live in that place, between
dawn and the daybreak.
Trying desperately,
to stall the time.
Stolen moments..
too fragile for dreams.
Wrapped in your arms,
watching you sleep
Shy, the rain giggles,
caressed by
the lovelorn wind.
I blush, watching
the lines of your face..
and the smile on your lips.
Your heartbeats,
talking to my fingertips.
Shadows rustle,
monsters insane.
Pulling me away,
from you yet again.
I close my eyes,
too scared to scream.
And then I feel you,
whispering so softly -
“Hush my baby,
it’s just a bad dream”
One more smile..
I live in that place, between
dawn and the daybreak.
Trying desperately,
to stall the time.
Stolen moments..
too fragile for dreams.
Wrapped in your arms,
watching you sleep
Shy, the rain giggles,
caressed by
the lovelorn wind.
I blush, watching
the lines of your face..
and the smile on your lips.
Your heartbeats,
talking to my fingertips.
Shadows rustle,
monsters insane.
Pulling me away,
from you yet again.
I close my eyes,
too scared to scream.
And then I feel you,
whispering so softly -
“Hush my baby,
it’s just a bad dream”
© 2009 by Chhaya. All rights reserved
PS: the image is googled
This is my 25th poem on this blog (counting the haiku efforts as 1 poem). I was going to post a different one, but then thought that the silver jubilee thing shouldn’t be too dark. Thank you everyone, for being such good friends... This one is for you all...
56 comments:
Congrats for the silver jubilee :)
Chhaya,
First the compliments. Beautiful. Wonderful. Lovely.
The best thing about this poem is that you have had double benefit. First you feel the everlasting warmth of your loved one in your dreams, and then you physically feel the warmth of the compassionate one when you are so rudely brought back from the serenity of the dream.
What I like most about this poem is how well you have described the touch of a special one. The best I liked was "Your heartbeats, talking to my fingertips.". How much more better can it get? Lying side by side watching the vastness of the sky, hollow yet overpowering feeling the heartbeats is as serene it can get.
When the third stanza started I thought, "Oh no! Not another tragedy! Please..." But it wasn't. The poem closed with as much divinity as it started. Yes, it was divine. :)
splendid work i must say... it is so soft and pure...
"your heartbeats talking to my finger tips.." is beautifully worded... nothing could have explained the feeling better...
the feeling and proof of security in the arms of your love has emerged out well from the piece of writing..
i agree with anuradha....heartbeats talkin to fingertips is simply awesome.....and congrats on the silver jubilee chhaya....btw, those haikus remind of all those funny haikus n kaikus n even baikus.....lol:)
छाया बहन आपका लेखन सत्यतः कहूं तो मेरे जैसी क्षुद्र बुद्धि के प्राणी की समझ से अक्सर बाहर रहता है कभी-कभी अक्षर जोड़ कर पढ़ समझ लेता हूं और आनंदित हो जाता हूं। यदि दिक्कत न हो तो हिंदी और भारतीय भाषाओं की पट्टी पर भी लिखिये ताकि हमारे जैसे लोग भी सहजता से समझ सकें।
सस्नेह
nice poem....I like the way it ends.
Back to dreams :)
So, you are reading Jack Reacher books? I love those novels. Have read quite some and there are some left. Happy reading and happy writing!
N
For your 25th poem, this work is magical. I definitely like the word usage and how they are used:
"Stolen moments..
too fragile for dreams"
"Shy, the rain gigles
caressed by
the lovelorn wind."
Truly a treat to witness your 25th poem and it was a blast (in a good way in slang terms).
Shy, the rain giggles, caressed by the lovelorn wind... You write Lovely words and create beautiful imagery. Beautiful.
Congrats on the silver jubilee ..
Loved the poem though felt that only the last paragraph depict the title
every one talking about the finger tips wala line,, ys that was the best line in the poem,,
the usp of all ur poems is its simplicity..
@Tarun - thank u. wud like to get some feedback from u @ the poems too.. u have stopped reading then perhaps ;)
boring u too much, am i? :P
@Vittal - thank u so much. i had actually written this poem more than a year back but never cud make it smooth. and then one evening the words fell into the right places.
my poems are generally like a snapshot, rather than being a sequence of emotions.. in this one, i wanted to capture one fragment from the time. the realization that u are still safe, that u r still loved and that it was just a bad dream that scared u.
:)
@Anuradha - thank u so much! and yes, they are my favorite lines from the poem. i still dont know how i zeroed in on that, but it felt very physically real to me when i was writing.
@inky - arrey even i miss those days..
may be we shud have another foiku session? at the park? what say?
@ Dr. Rupesh - Hindi is my mother-tongue and i should be able to write in it. i promise to try :)
and i guess my poems are not over-complicated. a thinking man like u can surely get em all :)
@Nothingman - i love Lee Child books. especially the jack Reacher series. i have read three and this is the fourth one. Jack is like a believable version of Jason Bourne (the Ludlum character)
thank u for the encouragement abt the poem. keep in touch :)
@John (Quackster) - thank u John :)
am so glad u liked it.
@Midnight Whispered - thank u... btw, i like ur profile name :)
@Shamik - that was the whole idea. i was supposed to some as a mild surprise :)
Uncommon Sense - still water runs deep :)
thank u for dropping by
Excellent!!
I felt that you sound much better when you write a bright one then a dark one!!!
:-)
Simple, nice, lovely ... shows that you and your words care for your friends a lot ... this entire piece speaks volumes of the trust that you have for your buddies!
What else can I (a poetry-ignorant man) write? hehe
Silver jubilee of poems is a long contribution ... wish you score a century and more.
Btw, me passing thru some hell @ work ... so, my devil brain craves for a desperate break to post a new one! :D
@WhatsInAName - hehe.. thank u.. actually it wudnt sound good if there were no dark lines in the end ;)
@IdleMind - u have seen my work from the very first till the 25th... and how can i not thank friends like u? u guys keep me going...
thank u for being so kind
PS: shud i ask mamta banerjee for another hartaal?
And chhaya is back! :)
Loved it.
@Rachna - thank u sweetheart :)
Hey Chhaya, I finally have a blogroll and have added you onto it. =)
@John (Quckster) - hey! thank u!
Oh Chhaya
This is soppy and girly
Showing such feeling
And wonder
In short it should reside.
With the works of
Wordsworth, Byron, Keats and moi :)
@
Pete
@Pete - so sweet of u :) ... u r too kind ..
@ Chhaya - :)
Never knew you had so much belief in Ms. Banerjee!
Ah... that was tight... liked it a lot! :)
the first to the twentyfifth....the best part of it is, everytime i read those beautiful verses, i cant write something about it, and a few of them, i ead them still...never fails to wet my eyes...
the way you express, its beautiful...
this one is a nice poem, a perfect ending...something uncommon to come from you...but am glad it is that way...
regards,
a friend...
@IdleMind - i have full faith in my politicians, when it comes to their ability to cripple the nation :D hehe
@Ajai - :) glad u liked it.
@H (Anonymous) - you have all my poems. some of them in their first drafts (though i have this intense dislike toward polishing my writing.. or perhaps i m too lazy) .. i always like the way you respond to my writing with verses of your own.. i wud so like to see them posted here.. but i respect your decision to remain Anonymous.
you get the feelings of my poems so well cz you knw the backstory .. at least of the ones that have one.
keep smiling :)
Great stuff :)
Seems like you are deeply emotional about someone.. Congrats for the silver jubilee..
P.S: Thanks for your comment on my blog.. ;)
@Narayan - thank u for the kind words :)
PS: this is not a personal poem. i didnt write it for anyone. actually i had written it more than a year back
Let me start by congratulating you for your 25th post.
After spotting the similarity in the structure with some of my works, and agreeing with them, I must reveal to you that I extremely love the "feel" of this piece. Well done!
However, I would intensify the piece via the structure in the second stanza. And, I shall edit the first stanza again. I write so, as I reckon, there is still some room to tighten this. And, more importantly for the fact that you are the writer, and I believe you have the capability to make it better.
You know that I've been reading this since days now. You know the reason(s) too.
You are an artist! It is time to show-it-off! (if you know what I mean). Good luck Chhaya!
hi chhaya,
visit my space and see the changes that i made in reaction to your comment...
Exquisite.
@Ajey (Brosreview) - i do understand what you mean. i will try to touch up the said stanza.
thank u for the wishes :)
@abanerji - :)
@Yoli - thank u! i will visit u soon
well, even i prefer the unpolished ones....
i am no one, yet someone for you...
i have no name, yet my gestures would touch you...
tc....
25 poems!!
time to publish :D
congrats..
and loved the sudden twist in the end.. nothing abstract..straight forward..
prefect for me to relish! :)
there are many haiku reads floating round blogsville I paused n read this one carefully.. simple n sweet! Simple poems always leave a greater impact:)
P.s loved yr header pic delite to the eyes!
wow..you have an awesome collection of poems do check out
www.simplypoet.com,a place where poets/writers interact,comment,critique and learn from each other..it would provide a larger audience to your blog!!
ku6 khass padha nahi hai. ye samajte samajte years pass ho jayenge...... is liye abhi to sirf .......
weekend dhamaallllllll
_____________________________________
Employee- Boss Aap Shadi-Shuda
Logo Ko Hi Naukri Kyu Dete Ho?
Boss-Kyu Ke Unhe Pehle Se Hi
Galiya Khane Ki Aadat Hoti Hai
____________________________________
Snta Road Pr Cigrate Pita Hua Bhag Raha Tha
Bnta-Kya Kar Rahe Ho?
Snta-Mai Dekh Raha Hu Ki Ek Cigerate Kitne
Kilometre Chalta Hai
_____________________________________
Dipu-Tuje Tere Papa Talor Hai Or
Teri Shrt Fati He
Papu-Shrm Ki Bat To Ye He Ki
Tere Papa Dentst He Or Tera Bhai Bina DANT Ke Paida Hua
______________________________________
Hr khushi hasi Mange Apse
Hr phol khushbu mange Apse
Itni Roshani ho Apki jindagi me
K
"khud bijali wale connection Mange Apse
___________________________________
Itna sannata kyon hai bhai?!
Koyi hai... Koyi hai...
Hey that's too good a poem, It takes some talent to write it, The last Stanza was touching !!!!!!
WOW!!!! i was dumstruck for a moment...if it's your own creation then you are blessed with gr8 gift....i wish you write loads of many more.....
Lovely words...great poem...Liked it a lot!!! CONGRATS!!
@Deepak - everything on my blog is my creation. All Original
So very well crafted...very nice.
"I live in that place, between
dawn and the daybreak.
Trying desperately,
to stall the time.
Stolen moments..
too fragile for dreams."
Hopped onto your blog from someplace else and fell in love with this poem. Beautiful and so very poignant!!!
Is anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me!!!
wru?
ONLY 53 comments Chay girl !! ;)
"Shadows rustle" is gold itself.
Well composed.. Loved it.. :)
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