Just Friends
Thursday, October 1, 2009
The smiles we shared
and some tears unshed.
´Just friends´
with a shrug of shoulders,
Always, we claimed.
My heart never stopped,
when you held me close.
It was bliss.
You were my home.
The extension of my soul.
Your thoughts never
made my nights sleepless.
Far away, in the darkness,
endless conversations.
Eloquent silence.
Losing you to the sense
of wrong and right,
isn’t the end of the world.
Then why to me
it feels like?
© 2009 by Chhaya. All rights reserved
PS: the image is googled
42 comments:
Excellent!!! u write like an amateur...i liked the last stanza of ur poem...
The pains of the heart seem to get instantly gratified by the words "Just Friends". A very profound way have these two words found to keep the not-so-sure heart at bay, trying to suppress the feelings of belonging that might arise if not expressed in these words. The hearts have already united, they know it, yet the mind has taken control of the ever so frightened heart that has always feared losing the dear one. The mind could dare do that because it has found that the fervently beating heart is so unsure that it has lost its sense of reasoning and decision making.
What is this: "Far away, in the darkness, endless conversations. eloquent silence."? Wow! This one is the highlight of the poem, the one that accentuates the rest of the stanzas. All those moments spent in the vicinity, each one of them replay in the mind. Everything is as clear as being in person, but the stark reality of the current is the profound silence that encompasses (encompasses the room for the materialistic; encompasses the Soul for the poetic).
The question you pose at the end of the poem is not one of those that is actually seeking an answer. It is one of pain of having losing the one you held dear, lost only due to the result of some petty misunderstandings. It truly isn't the end of the world for the world, but for the heart that beats it feels so.
I seem to have written quite an elaborate commentary. I do not know if it makes any sense. But as I visualized the words in my mind the thoughts materialized into life, and what I write is just a description of what I have visualized. Your poems truly evoke vivid imaginations.
- Vittal.
@Nishit - ˝u write like an amateur˝ .. well, I _am_ an amateur writer... :)
glad u liked it (pardon my confusion regarding this comment)
@Vittal – like most of my poems, I wrote the last lines first. I actually carried this line in my head for a couple of days, unsure of what I should do with it. It was – It wasn’t the end of the world. It just felt like it - and then the thoughts and words came in my mind.
Yes, you are correct with your analysis of the poem. The last lines are not a question that seeks answers. its the moment of self-realization. it’s the moment that the writer (the protagonist, if u prefer that word) realizes that the pain of losing is so unbearable that the world seem to end. and it comes as a total shock. so long has s/he lived in denial.
this poem is actually an extension of The Coward
and yes, the third stanza that you liked so much weaves the story of two people who could talk whole night and also stay silent, without a need to say a word.... even when they are far far away from each other.
PS: I always love the way you interpret my poems. it always gives me a feeling that you care to read and let it wrap you. thank you :)
Wonderful poem ..Simple yet Complex
:)
Reminds me of the words
When I feel lonely I think of you. When I think of you I feel Lonely
Nice... Pardon my asking... but why don't girls also propose... i mean why do they always leave it to the guy? why is that the tradition? i know so many gals who've never opened up and because of that, maybe, they never found out what the guy actually feels.
i know the pain a girl/guy who keeps it inside must be going through. if it was me i'd be upfront abt it.. so that there's no confusion later. guess it's not easy for every1.
@ chhaya nice poem
kya ek jawan ladka ladki "sirf dost" ho sakte hai? question once asked in a hindi movie.. this poem i guess borders around this question
and agree with you vitthal's comments are a post in itself..
@ajai
girls do propose, mostly they are shy thts y they dont propose..
I never had a liking towards poems. I always used to think that it was a waste of time. Sitting alone and dreaming about stuff, using imagination to write a few cryptic lines seemed totally understandably nonsensical to me.
But, when I came to your blog and read your poems, I realized how much emotions a few lines can portray. For the first time I realized that the lines need not rhyme to call the lines a poem. The main reason I immerse myself and allow your words to wrap me completely is because they describe nothing but raw emotions, real thoughts and feed the Soul with vivid images of reality. You are the source of inspiration for me to realize that I too could write poems, an amateur of course but will definitely get better with time. The amount of feelings few words in a poem can showcase is incomparable to any other means.
Coming back to the poem, how true it is that words need not be uttered to understand each other. Perfect silence while locking eyes can speak volumes, that even the brightest of the poets/authors would be unable to describe in copious words. This is the part that has kept me engaged in thoughts and the lines keep coming back to me.
You write wonderfully well, and as an ardent fan of your poems I feel compelled to apply the poems to my own life, relate to them and interpret as I live through them myself. Never ever stop writing these beautiful ones (not that you need this bit of encouragement :)).
@AJai
I think the primary reason for that would be the feeling of "Rejection". No matter how strong we feel we are that is the one emotion we all dread about in some way or the other
This has to be the extension of 'The Coward'. I feel that the pain of this hide n seek seems to be killing your mind for some time now ... and there can't be a better way to express them one after the other. We can feel, we can touch, we can share ... but we can't say always. The tongue seems to be tied in an eternal lock.
The rights and wrongs of this world ... I call it hypocrisy in living.
P.S: The blogger feeds are like that, they seem to be a bit slow than what we expect. Let them be that way! :)
@Shamik - thank u.. similar thoughts were in my mind when i wrote this.. though not the _real_ feelings.
@Ajai - this poem is not about not being able to ask/propose/express. this poem is about realizing. if you noticed then u wud have known that i hvnt used the word _love_ anywhere. even i am not sure if they (the two characters of the poem) were in love.
its very much possible that it was actually _just friendship_ .. yet.. losing that person hurts insanely ... hence the question.
PS: i am not replying to your question cz that will take the conversation away from the poem. i will write something on that topic very soon
@Vittal - awwwww come on.. i m not that good. my poems are not perfect if you go to the technicalities..
i just write just the way i think. sometimes in exact words.
@idle - the poems dont represent my state of mind.. somethings that i have gone through, somethings that i imagine..
this poem is more like a Question. te question that is an answer in itself.
Modesty! :)
Technically correct poems are for the perfectionists. Here we are looking at how effectively the feelings can be conveyed and this one does exactly that.
@Vittal - :)
not a great poem critic as i always said ...but somehow though this piece must be a great one i somehow feel it lacks to portray the emotions that the coward so easily portrayed ..
i guess this is for the classes :P
Hey,
Good one this!
The sad part of losing a friend is that none of them are replaceable. :-(
@Vicious - Nothing like that yaar. I liked Coward too but i prefer this one. Coward was very linear.. with just one dimension. this poem can mean different things to different people and more like my way of writing....
yet, if you didnt like it much then i promise to try harder the next time.
thank u so much for being honest!!
@WhatsInName - ahhhh.. i m more like a person who prefers to let go than hang on to memories... but more about that later.
I feel, something seems to be missing in this poem, I am just not sure what it is.
@Rachna - Most of the time when there is a feeling of a missing part in a poem, its the closure. the proper ending. it felt complete to me, still... I will take a look again to make it better
thank u for the feedback :)
the last two stanzas are superb.... specially this -"endless conversations, eloquent silence..." these lines speak about all that is in the heart... the constant desire to be with the person, the various expressed and unexpressed feelings... here is so much within these lines...
super piece of writing...
@ Chhaya - I agree that not all things have to be at present. A poem can be the result of memories, and dreams!
The question (in the poem) says it all ... and the eternal question comes out uninhibited - why does a person's loss, who's just a friend, appear like the end of world?
@ABanerji - thank u so much.. i guess this is ur first comment @ my blog. would love to get more of these :D
@idle - _Exactly_ .. thats the soul of this poem.
I get the essence, the soul of this poem quite well, I believe. I think, there are not many people who think the way or react the way the lead in this poem does.
You see, relationships are taken for granted, sometimes because it isn't serious to begin with. But, when honesty becomes the pedestal for a relationship to stand upon, then anything even remotely unexpected and bad can dent the relationship or one's feelings.
I like the way you have ended this piece with a question, following the justification of innocence above it. However, it is only fair to point out that there a few cliched lines. Still, the emotion is there.
I like how the third line in the initial stanzas behave as standalone.
"Eloquent silence" summaries the feel of this piece. And, the question in the end makes one read it again, if not felt in the first read.
Keep writing!
@Chhaya
You draw sooo many comments girl - you should charge per view.
I really like "tears unshed" - it says so many things.
What are you trying to say in "Then why does to me
it feel like?"
Your friend
Pete
HI Chhaya,
Touchy poem...
But more that the poem the labels are telling me more..
Move on dear... Misunderstandings have no cure...
And what is this about Being able to read people's mind :) Wow.. must be feeling like a God ! Isn;t it ?
@Ajey (brosreview) - u are right. some relationships define perfection and comfort and the slightest dent takes away that beauty.
when such relationships.. be it romantic love or the love between friends, it always hurts so bad that the world seems to end. and that pain comes as surprise....
especially if emotions dnt come easy to u
@Pete - hehe.. i get comments bcz i m surrounded by kind people who love to protect my illusion that i can write :D ... its all bcz of u!! thank u guys! mwahhh mwahhh!
about the poem, i hate to elaborate the lines, yet i will for u... the last line is a question thats asks... if u never felt that u cudnt live without a person.. if he/she always was as natural to u as breathing... then why does it hurt so much to lose him/her? why does it feels as if the world has ended.... when ur mind knows that it hasnt.
@I am alive - thank u for liking the poem!
about me getting over it and the lables... the labels cover the essence of the poem. makes it easiler to turn un in searches.
and if i write from the point of view of a ghost ( The Darklings ) then it doesnt mean that i am dead, does it?
i am actually a girl who always lets go, rather than hanging on. its my gift, its my curse.. i am not an overtly emotional person...
Keep in touch :)
Hi chaya,
Bumped across your page from Vittals.
read the first two peoms.
I understand what u mean by keeping it simple.
And the poem really touches a nerve somewhere deep down, reminding you of those teenage heartaches.
Though it may look across as a silly matter, It is a part of growing up and you have potrayed the thoughts very well.
@Swathy - Hey! thank u for dropping by and liking the poems...
i am not a teenager anymore (thank god!) but i do know that emotions / pain is very real for the kids too. it may sound trivial once you have grown up and seen worst, for the kids/teenagers, its as real as its for us now with our own set of heartbreaks.
keep in touch :)
honestly, everytime i read your post, the comments just come naturally...maybe because i understand it or rather relate to it... i read this one a number of times....
i only have questions to these lines sweets...
the style of writing is excellent though...
regards,
a friend...
@Anonymous - u wud know the inspiration behind this one :)
wonderful..truly..
@Phatichar - thank u :)
Nicely said...
@Poornima - thank u :)
thank u for dropping by. i will visit u soon
I've felt that way before with people I have had interest. I felt that I was not to their level but they always seemed to fit well with me in my mind. Because I was too shy or scared, I never moved on from the so-called "friend stage" You never know what could have been.
Very touchy piece of writing
Liked it very much
Losing you to the sense
of wrong and right,
isn’t the end of the world.
Then why to me
it feels like?
juct xcellent
@Quackster and Baua - thank u!
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