Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts

Tragedy: Under 100 words

Wednesday, February 3, 2010



The knife is sinking in her chest like she is made of butter.

Blood splashing on me with each flailing beat of her heart, in rhythm with the clock.

She always said that there has never been another man in her life.

Splash

It’s not so warm now.

I read the letter yet again.

Mrs. Patel,
Congratulations on your wedding.
Your child has already been adopted.
We can’t disclose any other information...

And she wouldn’t let me touch her before marriage.

Splash

I wipe the blood off the date-stamp.

Feb,1976

What? Wait a second!

The clock ticks away.
Solo
========================================

©2010 by Chhaya. All rights reserved

Inspired by a crazy phone that delivers a text, hours/days after it’s sent
image is googled

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The Last Bus

Monday, January 18, 2010


Standing barefoot.
Barren, huge crossroad.
They say it stops here,
the bus you are on.

Clutching, the doll you gave me
on my birthday the year before.
I try not to stain it –
for my hands are
bleeding from the sores.
knees skinned to the bones shake a little
cruel, lonely it was –
the road from home.

Biting my lips, to stall the pain
burying my face in the doll –
there is still that smell of you
the fragrance of safety,
the mirage of childhood.
Inhaling,
just a bit.
Too greedy to save it all.

It starts to rain
and I feel so cold.
Proud, defying – waiting.
I stand my ground
not for victory but to
hide my shame.
The tears
drown me a bit more.
There is nothing left,
even my shadow is impure.

Its getting darker
the birds are all gone.
I watch other kids, just like me but –
jumping all the way to their homes.
Some stand and stare at my rags
laughing at my doll.
Mock my dirty feet -
but my eyes, they all ignore

And then I am left alone,
at the crossroads
just like the evening before.
I am scared now–
wont you come back for me?
the last bus from heaven,
doesn’t stop here anymore?




© 2008 by Chhaya. All rights reserved
PS: the image is googled
I wrote this poem more than a year back. I didn’t have enough readers back then so I am re-posting it.

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Vengeance: Under 100 words

Monday, January 11, 2010


Have you ever watched helplessly as your family and friends get massacred?
Right in front of your eyes?

I did.

I was just a baby... I couldn’t do anything..

He killed them all.

Gassed them.
Beat them to pulp.

I don’t know how I survived. Perhaps you are stronger when you are young.

I wasn’t going to forgive him.
I had to keep the honour of my tribe...

There was a tiny column in the local newspaper after a few days.

“Man dies of Malaria in the suburbs of Mumbai”

Remember, you don’t mess with the Anopheles.

=================================
© 2010 by Chhaya. All rights reserved

PS: the image is obviously googled :)

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Mothers and Sons

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Mac hated his birthday. Especially for the last 8 years. He dreaded these visits.

'Don’t I give her enough money? Don’t I pay for those AC rooms and 24 hour attendant service? For God’s sake, she has a TV with cable in her room and so many people of her own age group. Why do I have to go to see her on my Birthday?'

'If I have to clock in those suffocating 10 minutes there then I better get it done with. I have been doing this for 8 years now. I better get used to it.'


He was through with the ritual in exactly 8 minutes after reaching the Old Age Home.

He walked towards his car, with that hated box in his hand.

He knew what was inside it.


'If she HAS to give me a cake then can’t she at least order it from an upscale bakery? Why does she have to bake the cake herself in the kitchen of the facility? Who eats this stuff now? loaded with sugar!'

The cake annoyed him more than his mother’s praises and kisses. His wife was right. He shouldn’t have come.

But then, his mother would refuse to eat and cry non-stop. And then she would have to be admitted in the hospital.

That would be really bad for PR.

After all, he was the VP of the biggest law firm in the city. Or perhaps in the whole state.
He put the box on the passenger seat of his dark Mercedes and drove towards his office. He never took his driver during these yearly visits. He knew how people talked.

Slowly, his mind focused on the day ahead. He had lunch scheduled with a client and then party in the night.
That’s how you celebrate your birthday. Not at a place full of dying people.

He stopped the car just outside his office and picked up the box.

He threw it straight into the garbage bin at the curb. It landed noiselessly, cushioned by the rotting refuse of the city.

A perfect shot.

He was an expert now. He had been doing it for 8 years now. Every year, the box went into that bin.

He drove on, forgetting all about it.

He never saw a pair of tiny hands reaching into the bin. Never saw a pair of eyes shining bright, half with tears and half with anticipation.
The kid could hardly reach it.

His face lit up as soon as he took the box out.

'I knew it!'

He jumped with joy, forgetting his filthy hands and tattered rags. Forgetting the fact that he had not eaten in 2 days.

Forgetting the cold. Forgetting everything!

He opened the box and there it was!

MAC

Written with frosting over the cake!

Exactly the same his mom would get for him every year! From the same place!

She had told him that an angel came and gave it to her for her little son on his birthday, every year!

'She must have told the angel to bring the cake even if she is not there!'


'Mom did not forget my 8th birthday! She could never forget!'

He stopped for a moment... closed his eyes and raised his face towards the sky. Someone had told him, that's where the God fellow lived.

"Thank you Mom. I love you. And I miss you. Please come back soon! "


And then he shoved a tiny fistful of cake in his mouth.


Not really bothering whether the cake bore his name or if it was the other way round.


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© 2009 by Chhaya. All rights reserved

image by Elizabeth Nourse (La Mère)
PS: Happy New Year to all my friends :)

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Sisters

Monday, December 7, 2009


She watches the little one,
looking out of the window.
The worn out doll,
clutched tight.
Too young to understand, yet
deep within, does she know?

Her heart aches more than her arms,
cradling the kid all night long.
Having to grow up in a moment,
her own childhood gone.
The tears remain unshed,
for ever and more.

"Can you call mommy again?
She should be home by now."
Innocent eyes look up to her.
Trusting the world’s
convenient lies.

She tries to hold her close
and whisper the truth,
as it should be told.
"She won’t answer the phone, little one.
Mom is not coming home anymore"

© Chhaya


image by William Adolphe Bouguereau (Two Sisters)

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the Month of the Departed


Yes, I have always had this habit of vanishing without a warning. I am like this even in my offline life. Sticking to one thing and one place has always been a struggle for me. Strings scare me. Visible or otherwise.


Still, if you wanna know why I have been inactive for almost a month, then here are a few reasons I can think of –


First of all, work pressure was simply mind-numbing. I was trying hard to find that 1441st minute in the day. Never could.


And then I fell sick. I mean, really sick. (why does the word –sick, always sound like a dirty word to me?) Fever, cold, cough, breathing troubles and an insane headache that simply refused to go away. Had a Swine Flu scare too, but thankfully I didn’t have H1N1 infection. It was perhaps just the simple Flu trying to tell me that it can be as painful as the Pig version!


But the most disturbing thing that happened was that one of my Grandparents passed away. I know, Death is inevitable. I have no beef with the Grim Reaper. We have made our peace a long time back.
December is the month when he likes to visit. Plucking away a few people from my life.

I have lost too many to this Month. People who mean something to me. Sometimes more than something. Its the Month of the Departed for me....

A friend asked if we were close. I found myself at loss for words. How close is considered to be close? If you go by the society’s parameters then I don’t think I am close to anyone in my life. There is just 1 exception to that. If you know me then you know who that person is.


I am still to shed a tear. Don’t think I am going to. (I can sense one of my regular readers shaking his head and saying – u gotta cry girl). The reason is – I had sensed it coming. I knew I was going to lose that person. I had even talked about it with one of you. And this is the part that disturbs me the most. Every time I am about to lose someone, or every time something terrible is going to happen to me, I always sense it a few days in advance. I don’t know how it happens. Perhaps it happens to everyone.

I never try to stop it from happening or think about it like they show in the movies. It’s disturbing.


There is more to write, but I am saving it for the next post. Gotta have something to share :)


Love
Chhaya



The image is Googled

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The Glass Window

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Children of the street
dance in the first rain,
Screaming with delight.
Barefoot and half naked.

Surrounded with the comfort,
of money and fame..
I steal greedy glances through
the impersonal window frame.


Safety of Grandma’s arms and
the beauty of her weathered face -
I am trying to remember,
fighting hard to forget.

Trapped in the addictive -
golden coffin of success,
I live my death
in tiny instalments.



© Chhaya
I forbid any comparison between Slumdog Millionaire and this poem... :

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The Little Girl by the Highway

Wednesday, July 8, 2009



She was found by the highway,
dumped like a rag .
Bloodied and mauled.
Stripped and flayed.

Bile rises to the throats,
they count her wounds.
But who will pick up the pieces..
of her dismembered soul?

Candy wrapper in her hair..
and dead dreams in the vacant eyes
"Where was my dad last night?" - they ask
"Why didn’t he hear my cries?"

Flashbulbs scream..
and the headlines are relayed.
Kinder than the world,
the vultures keep away.

They bury her five summers..
and her favourite doll.
Lowering her gently,
in the tiny hole.

Watching the new arrival ,
the dead die yet again .
Screaming, they ask aloud,
is this how the Angels are slain?



© 2009 by Chhaya. All rights reserved
PS: the image is googled

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Cinderella

Friday, December 26, 2008



I feel the rhythm,
or is it your heart beating
sweet touch of an angel
gentle waltz of your breaths on my skin
its the breeze that made me shiver
or was it the fear in my heart?
I close my eyes, lean on you
wait for you to pull me close
wait for the warmth of your arms

bloody battles, I fought for you
let my armour drop
under the silver moon,
there is nothing to hide me – to protect
the clock strikes midnight, and I feel you
pushing me away, ever so gently
I fight. harder this time –
for I am fighting you – for you

“Its time for you to go” you said
and the dream is ripped at the seam
still, I want you to see
before the cold freezes me
I was never meant to be safe
my soul was your twin flame -
the peace was never for me
you are my unfinished sonnet

waiting forever
knocking at the door you closed
never leaving – fearing your pain,
if you ever,
decide to return
but my heart is dying now
and my soul is lost
in the sea of oblivion

Now that I am fading away
my heart, still yearns for you
I had in your arms-
Life, Death and the Judgment Day
its the final midnight
the darkness pulls me
the glass slipper doesnt fit anymore, my love
this Cinderella was never meant to be


------
© 2008 by Chhaya. All rights reserved
PS: the image is googled

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The Darklings

Friday, September 12, 2008



Angry, the wind howled
I chose the frosty moonbeam, over
the raging fire, blessed by hell
my own twin flame

Banished in death,
I wandered the weathered land
Chained, cursed by your love
as dark as my sinful soul

My heart denounced me
tormented, by your betrayed eyes
Guilt ruled by the day,
reigned, mauled me by the night

Lonely, I treaded the moor
paralysed with the avenging ice
Devil didn’t claim me, my love
He knew without me, you can’t die

So here I am, watching you wither
with the pain that I gifted
Your dark eyes burn with passion
made sweet by maddening hatred

I stand by the heath
tired, soaked, shivering
near your window,
out in the blinding rain

I came home to you, torn
by the merciless wind.
Hold me in your arms forever,
Please let me in.


© 2008 by Chhaya. All rights reserved
PS: the image is googled
Those who have read the "Wuthering Heights" will know that this poem is a dedication to Heathcliff and Catherine. For me, they define the word "Soul-mate"

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Together - Forever

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Sitting by the window
relishing the pain,
I hear the sunshine
tip-toeing through the curtains

Cool breeze whispers,
with the whiff of dew
I blush as if I am
caressed by you

darkness engulfs me,
as the morning shines
"I will always be around ",
I hear your broken voice

Cool, sliver of steel,
slides on bare flesh.
The world turns crimson,
but I, feel no more pain


© 2008 by Chhaya. All rights reserved
PS: the image is googled

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